There is so much I want to say. The last month or so has been crazy. My lovely internship at an urban farm has taken up the bulk of my time 3 days out of my week. Much of it has been good but I’ve had hard days. I have had a lot of fun…… Continue reading Home Away From Home
I must have been gone too long from this blog because I saw I got a lot of recent follows from what seems like spam blogs. Ugh. I’ve been here and there but still moving along in life. Or trying to, at least. Most days, I feel as if I just have too many thoughts…… Continue reading I Don’t Even Know Anymore
Second month into 2021 and I’m trudging along. How’s your year been so far? I’ve been okay for the most part. The improvements and the struggles continue. My current therapist reminded me in my latest session with him to treat myself gently like I would treat a friend. And it’s true, I often forget to…… Continue reading Tired of This S***
I really wish I could crawl into a hole and die. Right now in this moment, this expression fits how I feel, even though it is quite drastic and is even dangerous sounding. I just hate coming out of a social situation that I tried to deal with and now all I can do is…… Continue reading Social Setback
I went back to school in January and rode that wave of unpredictability week after week. And now here I am in the middle of March mostly stuck at home; precisely the very thing I was trying to work my way out of for the sake of my own mental health. Thanks, coronavirus. The last…… Continue reading Same Old Story
Hi again. I am still here. I’ve opened WordPress a few times since my last post with ideas of what to write. I decided against it. I remember some of my old, old posts from when I first started WordPress and it’s embarrassing how hard I tried, through my depression and anxiety, to be positive.…… Continue reading Conundrum of Life
Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts (towards the end of the blog post). You know the feeling when life gives you problem after problem and it starts to pile up because they’re issues you can’t solve right away but you’re trying to hold it all together and not lose your s**t? And then…… Continue reading A Single Moment
I swear I did not set out to come up with a blog post title that coincidentally is the same title of a well-known Taylor Swift song. Though I can’t seem to stop listening to Getaway Car lately… but that’s a story for another time. It’s easy to deem that I can think myself into…… Continue reading Ready for It
I feel defeated. So many times during the hours, the weeks, the months, and the years of my life, the thought comes up that this life isn’t worth living. I know I am treading on thin ice with such a declaration. I’ve never been the optimistic sort of person. Every turn of my life scares…… Continue reading The Mess Inside Me
My brain goes through a nonstop cycle of thinking. I had a somewhat morbid thought last night after I switched off my lamp and settled into a comfortable stillness under my blankets: that it’s impossible for my mind to stop being active even during sleep, unless I died and my brain shut down permanently. It’s…… Continue reading Thoughts and More Thoughts
Don't mind me, I'm justanervousgirl. 