challenges · courage · life · personal beliefs · personal growth

Household Nuisance

The worst thing about still living with family is how easy it is to be broken down by their criticism. I can’t help but think if I lived elsewhere, it would’ve been more like an Okay, that’s your opinion and I don’t really care. Somehow it feels more personal and affects me more deeply than…… Continue reading Household Nuisance

anxiety · Coping with anxiety · mental health · people problems · social anxiety · Thoughts and feelings

Anxious Mind + Hated Habits

I walked for 19,430 steps today. Most of those steps were done after work in the afternoon once I had time to eat lunch and rest and save up enough energy to walk to my heart’s content. I visited a special house in the neighborhood that is somewhat known for its architectural style that resembles…… Continue reading Anxious Mind + Hated Habits

Feeling ill · life changes · Physical health · ramblings · Thoughts and feelings

5 Days of Rest

On Thursday, I woke up with the worst sore throat ever. The feeling was like someone had stabbed my throat with a needle. It startled me so much I thought, This can’t be real, am I still dreaming? I was not. I quickly downed two cups of water, which was not enough to lessen the…… Continue reading 5 Days of Rest

anxiety · life · ramblings · social anxiety · Thoughts and feelings

Battle of the Mind

I’ve had a lot of days lately. Good days. Bad days. Okay days. And a few sleepless nights. I used to be quite resistant to taking naps during the daytime, but now I nap when I feel like I need a quick recharge. I had a difficult workday two Saturdays ago when it was BLAZING…… Continue reading Battle of the Mind

anxiety · life · perception · Thoughts and feelings

Why Is It So Hard?

This is how I have been feeling frequently. The maintenance, the upkeep, the pushing ahead. Life has always been a checklist of things I need to do every day. “Just keep going”, “It gets better in time”, “All that matters is you did your best”. Do phrases like these actually help you get through your…… Continue reading Why Is It So Hard?

about me · birthday · ramblings

Growing a Year Older

November 26th is my birthday but to me, I will probably treat it as a normal day. If I really think about it, every day is someone’s birthday somewhere in the world. It’s dreadful being asked what I want as a present/gift. The question makes me feel like I am being put on the spot.…… Continue reading Growing a Year Older

anxiety · social anxiety · socially awkward

Thoughts and More Thoughts

My brain goes through a nonstop cycle of thinking. I had a somewhat morbid thought last night after I switched off my lamp and settled into a comfortable stillness under my blankets: that it’s impossible for my mind to stop being active even during sleep, unless I died and my brain shut down permanently. It’s…… Continue reading Thoughts and More Thoughts

anxiety · coping mechanisms · Hopes and fears · life · nature · summer

Recall the Moment

Life is chaos. The times I have been completely at ease, content in being where I am with no rush or disturbance knocking at my door, are few and far between. Sometimes that utter euphoria lasts seconds, or minutes, or just an hour or two. It’s nice to have those moments where I forget who…… Continue reading Recall the Moment

anxiety · children · family · parents · personal beliefs

No Kids For Me

As a child, I played house all the time with my Barbie dolls. I had several lifesize baby dolls and I carried around one of them with me everywhere. I liked cradling the doll like a real baby and feeding her a fake bottle to mimic pseudo milk going into her plastic mouth but that…… Continue reading No Kids For Me