Every day I think about so many things. I never feel like I have enough time to write all of them down. At times, thinking so much exhausts me in a way I can’t adequately describe in words. If I could try to describe it, it’s like a fatigue from the physicality of the mental…… Continue reading Rediscovery of Social Terrors
I had little to no motivation to do much of anything today. Daylight Savings Time just ended, and that means that one hour ahead on the clock makes it seem like the hours of daylight in the afternoon are shorter. I hate how time is out of my control and keeps moving, whether I feel…… Continue reading Pressure Points
There is so much I want to say. The last month or so has been crazy. My lovely internship at an urban farm has taken up the bulk of my time 3 days out of my week. Much of it has been good but I’ve had hard days. I have had a lot of fun…… Continue reading Home Away From Home
Nighttime has come; the end of another day gone. I’m tired; it seems my body habitually goes into low battery mode after a stressful event. Hours ago I met with a professor on Zoom to discuss a possible research project idea that I am interested in pursuing under his mentorship. I have never been this…… Continue reading Another Day Gone
This is how I have been feeling frequently. The maintenance, the upkeep, the pushing ahead. Life has always been a checklist of things I need to do every day. “Just keep going”, “It gets better in time”, “All that matters is you did your best”. Do phrases like these actually help you get through your…… Continue reading Why Is It So Hard?
Gosh, I am in trouble. When the writing bug hits, I can’t let it go until it’s finished. Fair warning though, this is somewhat of an ugly topic. I know every family has skeletons in their closet. We’re all a product of the environments we grew up in. My family is no exception from this…… Continue reading Abuse, Trauma, or Both?
I hate that the default page my WordPress account takes me to when I click on “My sites” is the Stats page. Am I supposed to feel bad that I haven’t written in a while? I actually don’t mind that my viewership has gone down. I guess it works both ways. I haven’t had the…… Continue reading Still Kicking
Some days I think I am over it. Other days I relive the past in my mind and it’s like getting sucked into a vortex of pain, anger, and sadness. Several nights as of late I’ve fallen into this mindset and been insomniac. It would be easier on myself to just look to the future…… Continue reading Echoes of the Past
My posts continue to be melancholic. I feel like I have been in a haze. Self-preservation is an innate instinct and that’s what I’ve been trying to do. Just surviving somehow. My physical and mental health took some hits during the stay-at-home order. I think I still am suffering, maybe from the aftereffects, even though…… Continue reading Sinking or Swimming
Wow I haven’t checked WordPress in weeks, except to give a random like to a passing post I enjoyed reading for 5 minutes or reply to a comment someone left me on my blog. I don’t really have a negative or positive opinion for my absence. Life goes on everywhere. There was a time in…… Continue reading Checking In After An Absence