The worst thing about still living with family is how easy it is to be broken down by their criticism. I can’t help but think if I lived elsewhere, it would’ve been more like an Okay, that’s your opinion and I don’t really care. Somehow it feels more personal and affects me more deeply than…… Continue reading Household Nuisance
I hate that the default page my WordPress account takes me to when I click on “My sites” is the Stats page. Am I supposed to feel bad that I haven’t written in a while? I actually don’t mind that my viewership has gone down. I guess it works both ways. I haven’t had the…… Continue reading Still Kicking
I think all the time about poor choices I made 2, 3, even 4 years ago and how they impacted me in the long run. I feel weaker for all the things I ran from, and how if only I had pushed forward like I could have, I wouldn’t be in the position I am…… Continue reading Out of Practice
Why does this keep happening? I internally ask myself. I’ve almost reached the end of my second week studying in the hotel hospitality program. That’s six more intensive weeks left. I feel very accomplished that I’ve made it this far and intend to keep going. But tonight a single sentence from my mother nearly shattered…… Continue reading What I Want Versus What Other People Want For Me
I am in a state of worry, but there is a comfort in being able to acknowledge it and not trying to fight the tension. Things come and go. I actually had a good day today. The weather was wonderful enough that I wore shorts when I went outside. Just as that bit of happiness…… Continue reading Getting Past Worries
I think I’ve always been a little lost. Since my youth, my self-confidence has been dismal. I was never the person to join clubs or involve myself in after school activities, all because I didn’t know how to talk to people. Or was too scared to try. During weekdays I had school as an excuse…… Continue reading Feeling Lost
For a long time now I have been alienating myself from those who care about me. Right now I feel so conflicted because I haven’t been totally honest with them. It’s true it is uncomfortable to have those sit-down talks with them because I didn’t grow up comfortable telling them everything and it got harder…… Continue reading Messed Up on the Inside
Sigh. This post is like a huge garage dump for all my conflicted thoughts on several interrelated matters. I revised the title like 3 times already because I kept delving into other topics from the one topic I wanted to write about. Sometimes it feels like the gap in the generational and cultural differences between…… Continue reading Mixed Feelings about Race, Language, and People
It’s the last day of 2018. I am excited and scared of being present for another 365 days done and over with, and of the anticipation of all the happiness and pain that may follow into 2019. I feel lost every year. I don’t know if I am as aimless as I was at the…… Continue reading Last Hooray of 2018
This is a door of perspective I have never used before until yesterday. An acquaintance of mine, whom I’ll call Gina, gave me advice on how to think of another person with compassion. This came up because I mentioned to her how intimidated I feel in front of an interviewer and my perception that the…… Continue reading Having Compassion for Myself & Other People
Don't mind me, I'm justanervousgirl. 