feelings · Hopes and fears · life · life changes · ramblings

Reflecting on Self-Doubt

Coming home after a long workday, the adrenaline rush still hasn’t quite settled yet. I’m too awake and I keep replaying in my mind the day’s events and my actions from throughout the day. Very recently I tried out for a different job role at the same company I currently work for. It was a…… Continue reading Reflecting on Self-Doubt

Comfort zone · Conflicting emotions · life · Thoughts and feelings

What To Feel

I made it through the hard-biting winter and am enjoying the warmness of almost summer. I opted not to enroll in any college courses during the Spring 2022 semester because I had too much going on with work and other things. I didn’t want to take on more than I could handle at the time.…… Continue reading What To Feel

life · life changes · perception · ramblings · social anxiety · Thoughts and feelings

Rediscovery of Social Terrors

Every day I think about so many things. I never feel like I have enough time to write all of them down. At times, thinking so much exhausts me in a way I can’t adequately describe in words. If I could try to describe it, it’s like a fatigue from the physicality of the mental…… Continue reading Rediscovery of Social Terrors

about me · anxiety · favorites · fun · fun in the sun · gardening · job anxiety · life changes · memories · Thoughts and feelings

Home Away From Home

There is so much I want to say. The last month or so has been crazy. My lovely internship at an urban farm has taken up the bulk of my time 3 days out of my week. Much of it has been good but I’ve had hard days. I have had a lot of fun…… Continue reading Home Away From Home

about me · Coping with anxiety · life · mental health · therapy

The Good and the Bad

I wish I could say that I felt inspired to write a post right at this moment because I have positive vibes and nothing but great things to share. That’s not it. Instead I felt the itch to write because I am in a bad mood and desperately wanted/needed some kind of outlet to get…… Continue reading The Good and the Bad

anxiety · fitness · life · school life · Thoughts and feelings

Another Day Gone

Nighttime has come; the end of another day gone. I’m tired; it seems my body habitually goes into low battery mode after a stressful event. Hours ago I met with a professor on Zoom to discuss a possible research project idea that I am interested in pursuing under his mentorship. I have never been this…… Continue reading Another Day Gone

anxiety · life · perception · Thoughts and feelings

Why Is It So Hard?

This is how I have been feeling frequently. The maintenance, the upkeep, the pushing ahead. Life has always been a checklist of things I need to do every day. “Just keep going”, “It gets better in time”, “All that matters is you did your best”. Do phrases like these actually help you get through your…… Continue reading Why Is It So Hard?

about me · anxiety · chinese customs · COVID-19 · family · orchids · school · social anxiety

Tired of This S***

Second month into 2021 and I’m trudging along. How’s your year been so far? I’ve been okay for the most part. The improvements and the struggles continue. My current therapist reminded me in my latest session with him to treat myself gently like I would treat a friend. And it’s true, I often forget to…… Continue reading Tired of This S***

about me · anxiety · challenges · daily habits · habits · Hopes and fears · insecurities · life · ramblings · social anxiety · Thoughts and feelings · winter

Still Kicking

I hate that the default page my WordPress account takes me to when I click on “My sites” is the Stats page. Am I supposed to feel bad that I haven’t written in a while? I actually don’t mind that my viewership has gone down. I guess it works both ways. I haven’t had the…… Continue reading Still Kicking

about me · Coping with anxiety · life changes · mental health · ramblings

Life Goes On

This half of the year has been hard. That is an understatement. I am sure the distribution of burden and suffering has been disproportionate. By my circumstances, I might even be considered privileged. I have housing, healthy food, a computer and wifi, and a quiet bedroom to study and sleep in. Most of all, I…… Continue reading Life Goes On