about me · anxiety · Conflicting emotions · Cultural views · family · fears · feelings · Hopes and fears · memories · people · personal beliefs · ramblings · social norms · Thoughts and feelings

Abuse, Trauma, or Both?

Gosh, I am in trouble. When the writing bug hits, I can’t let it go until it’s finished. Fair warning though, this is somewhat of an ugly topic. I know every family has skeletons in their closet. We’re all a product of the environments we grew up in. My family is no exception from this…… Continue reading Abuse, Trauma, or Both?

about me · anxiety · Coping with anxiety · family · fears · feelings · life · Mood swings · people · ramblings · Thoughts and feelings

The Struggle & Release

I was not entirely content with myself. I have not been for several days now in crackles and spurts. Certainly, all that build up led to something boiling inside me. It churned to the point everything around me felt like a dull edge. A limp, colorless world. Yeah, I know the featured image on this…… Continue reading The Struggle & Release

anxiety · Conflicting emotions · fears · Feeling ill · feelings · flight or fight · life · mental health · Mood swings · people · perception · ramblings · social anxiety · Thoughts and feelings · verbal communication

Under Pressure

Under Pressure. These are truly the two words that come to mind when I am not feeling well and for whatever reason I am compelled to pretend like I am completely fine. I don’t know when this behavior of mine started or why my mind decided to have such a routine that has become essential…… Continue reading Under Pressure

anxiety · childhood memories · daily · eating · family · fears · food · habits · life · meals · perception · personal habits · ramblings · seafood

Seafood Fanatic

My aunt came over to stay last weekend. She’s one of my relatives who I’ve always liked so although my social anxiety nerves were twitching, I was sure I would be fine. After an early drive into New York from Jersey, she popped out to spend the day in Midtown Manhattan with an old college…… Continue reading Seafood Fanatic

anxiety · awkward · Comfort zone · Conflicting emotions · family · feelings · jobs · life · people · perception · strangers · travel · unexpected situations

A Good Lie

Yesterday evening I had dinner with some rich folks in China. It was so not my comfort zone for a variety of reasons: I had to go over their house (before the dinner) I didn’t know them They spoke in a different dialect (which I don’t understand) Awkwardness Most of all, I know I tolerated…… Continue reading A Good Lie

accents · awkward · comfort · Comfort zone · Cultural views · culture · family · feelings · life · people · perception · transportation · travel · unexpected situations · weather

Cultural Differences

It’s day 8 since I came to to Beijing, China for a 10-day vacation. I started writing this post yesterday while waiting for a flight to Xiamen. It only took 3 hours to get there, thankfully. Being part of a tour guide group for the first 5 days in China, the sights I saw were…… Continue reading Cultural Differences

anxiety · fears · friends · friendship · insecurities · social anxiety

Alone or Together

I know I am a person capable of much even though I have anxiety. I get anxious over purportedly “dumb” things. I belittle myself in this way because of the many times I’ve been in the moment of being actively anxious and how stuck I am. I think, Why am I feeling anxiety over this?…… Continue reading Alone or Together

culture · fears · horror · movies

Movie Scenes That Still Freak Me Out

I have nostalgia for the Jurassic Park trilogy, especially since I have seen Jurassic World and am getting ready to watch Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in theaters today. It was great to rewatch the very first film which started the franchise. Despite how dated the quality and graphics were, the storyline and characters still held…… Continue reading Movie Scenes That Still Freak Me Out

anxiety · blogging · daily · fears · writing

Bad Expectations

Again and again, I’m proven wrong in my own assumptions. I let the situation play out. I let myself experience it. Huh, it’s not what I expected to happen, I think. But, again and again, when another challenging situation arises, my thinking pattern follows the same path as it did before. Expect the worst!, my…… Continue reading Bad Expectations

anxiety · blogging · fears · social anxiety · verbal communication · writing

Not As Bad As I Imagined

How can my imagination feel so real and true whenever my mind comes up with literally every plausible and implausible bad outcome that can happen in a situation? The more I think myself into this circle of doom, the easier it is for me to stamp a big fat invisible “NO GO” on my forehead…… Continue reading Not As Bad As I Imagined