Many years ago, when the daily struggle of functioning on a basic level was harder then than it is now, I remember looking at myself in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw. I was still picking at my facial scabs quite often at the time. My reconstruction of this memory may be a…… Continue reading Never Good Enough
I think I’ve always been a little lost. Since my youth, my self-confidence has been dismal. I was never the person to join clubs or involve myself in after school activities, all because I didn’t know how to talk to people. Or was too scared to try. During weekdays I had school as an excuse…… Continue reading Feeling Lost
For a long time now I have been alienating myself from those who care about me. Right now I feel so conflicted because I haven’t been totally honest with them. It’s true it is uncomfortable to have those sit-down talks with them because I didn’t grow up comfortable telling them everything and it got harder…… Continue reading Messed Up on the Inside
I would not go as far to say I don’t have a desire for human interaction, or that I believe forming online friendships is enough for me. It’s more like I am disconnected from the relationships I “should” be having based on what I see other people around me have. I don’t know if that…… Continue reading Disinterest in Other People
I thought I left this repetitive dream behind in 2018 because since the new year, I haven’t dreamt of it again. Until this morning. The dream always had an old feel to it. Nostalgia, perhaps, in a wretched way that was both a wish for things to have stayed as they were and for things…… Continue reading Repetitive Dreaming
Being asleep is like drifting in midair not really feeling my actual physical body but the emotions and thoughts I experience are felt more intensely. Falling back asleep after waking up in the middle of the night is like being gently covered with a blanket, except I’m not aware of when the blanket goes on…… Continue reading Weird Forgotten Dream
Today was an interesting day. For a very long time, I’ve felt bad whenever I thought I did absolutely nothing in a day. But did I really do nothing or did the squirmy, self-loathing part of me write myself off again? Which is the lesser of evils; to be so swamped with deadlines and projects…… Continue reading Making Plans
I don’t know how to read my dreams or understanding the meaning behind the recurring ones I have had throughout different periods in my life. As a teenager, I messed around on the internet on some “dream interpretation” website, which had a blank box I could write details about my dream and then click a…… Continue reading Recurring Dreams I’ve Had
This was fun to write. 🙂 My magic spell for: Seeing into one of my past incarnations. In my heart and in my mind I’ve always wondered about other times In a different era when my life was just as fine For better or for worse No matter what Be it a blessing or curse…… Continue reading A Magic Spell
Under the right circumstances, I find silence to be calming if my heart is at ease and I’m content with whatever is going on in my day. Sometimes I make my own silence if I’m in an environment where there is mild background noise and it is easy to tune out. Giving myself a moment…… Continue reading Sound of Silence
Don't mind me, I'm justanervousgirl. 