challenges · courage · life · personal beliefs · personal growth

Household Nuisance

The worst thing about still living with family is how easy it is to be broken down by their criticism. I can’t help but think if I lived elsewhere, it would’ve been more like an Okay, that’s your opinion and I don’t really care. Somehow it feels more personal and affects me more deeply than it should since I can’t just have a boundary of separation by being in a different house.

I would not mind living on my own or with a roommate. Except there are two things standing in my way.

First is that with everything that has been going on with school and work lately plus days where I go out to do non-school or work stuff, I’m barely home except for the odd day where I decide to sleep in and have a rest. Or I don’t return home after work till the late afternoon so it feels like I came home just to eat dinner, shower, catch up on assignments and then go to sleep. So would planning to move out around this time be worth the money if I’m just coming back to crash for the night before going out again the next day?

Secondly, I am not in favor of going on any website or app and getting “matched” with a random person who is also looking for a roommate to live with in xyz neighborhood. It might be overtly cautious of me, but you never know how a person really is until you start living with them. That’s when their true face comes out (as I’ve seen from being under the same roof as my parents throughout the years).

The only case I can think of where I’d consider things is if I knew someone personally who is looking for a roommate and if the conditions of the home has the basic necessities (bathroom, shower, fridge, heating, bedroom). I wouldn’t even care if the place is tiny as long as I could make it work.

I’m pretty unhappy with the seemingly one-sided conversation I had with my father about my job. He harped on me about needing to find a better paying job so I could provide more for myself. His whole thing is that money comes first and personal interest in the job is not the priority. I think differently. My job pays at $19/hour but I’m not going to quit just because he thinks I won’t get far in life with what I currently have.

I don’t know what he is thinking. Does he assume that I am going to want more and more materialistically and my paycheck can’t handle that? Or that I need a higher paying job to make up for the years I spent unemployed? As an individual, I feel as if I don’t want the things most people seek out. I’m not that interested in traveling anywhere overseas for vacation. I don’t want a romantic partner. Or a big home. Or any pets or kids. So that just leaves myself to care for. Personally if I were living alone, I wouldn’t bother with eating meat regularly. I already eat very little meat as it is and the only reason I do eat meat is because my parents cook meat dishes. Sticking to fruits and veggies and pasta and eggs, which I like, would be significantly cheaper. I also eat normal sized portions, unlike my father who wants to overcompensate by having everything in huge quantities.

My sister-in-law is working as a part-time programming coder at Google. I don’t see what is the big deal with all that. I even boasted to my father that my job which benefits the environment is more important to the world than her job. His reply was that money should still come first and how would I do anything without that.

It grates on my nerves how much he is looking down on my job just because it apparently doesn’t pay well. Sure, I don’t know how long I’ll stay at my job but I certainly haven’t been stagnant in it. I’ve had to deal with different challenges every time I’ve been at work and do different things to solve problems on the job. That’s what he doesn’t know about because all he sees are dollar signs. For my own personal growth, this job is where I want to be and he is wrong to tell me otherwise.

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