Looking Back on Old Diaries (Part 1)

I recently read other bloggers reflect in their posts about sifting through their old diary or their journal entries. This had me itching to revisit my own written words too. It’s funny how my memory can be faulty about my own past. I remember a lot of heartache and pain, but I didn’t expect to laugh or be surprised. The style in which I wrote in then was so different… I seemed to have the habit of writing short, choppy sentences as if I were speaking out loud and expressing half-finished thoughts. My earliest writings always started out as “Dear Diary”, except I often mistakenly wrote it as “Dear, Diary”. I also started a lot of entries with “Yesterday”, “Today”, or “Tomorrow”. Blech.

This’ll be Part 1 of some entries I found noteworthy enough to share. This is a compilation of 6 diaries from between 1999 to 2001. So I was around 10-12 years old during this span of time. The names of certain people have been changed from the original entries for privacy reasons. Things written in brackets have been added in by me in present time for clarification if something is unclear in the text. Misspellings of words have been corrected but otherwise, I have left the punctuation and grammar as they are and have only slightly reworded them if the sentences were hard to understand in their original format. Additionally, I have shortened some entries to omit irrelevant or boring information. Each paragraph is a separate entry from a different day, but it’s not consecutive days one after the other.

I hate May 18 because I have to do my report in front of my class! But I don’t want to do it. I wish I had magic and I could change time. Oh man I wish it was summer and I could play with Tara and Lily [my cousins]. Even though they have no time. They have to go to school too! If they came to our house I could show them my furby. Lily loves furby. My brother says they look scary. But I think they look cute. About my report I’m doing it about stickers. I almost forgot! I have to memorize it!

P.S. – Lily is still my best friend!

Today is Saturday. And I watched Poke’mon. But the show is old. My favorite Pokemon is pikachu, jigglypuff, and kadabra. I hate kakuna, metapod, and magikarp. I will write the names of all 151 Pokemon. The pokemon are Bulbsaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur…. [Yes, I really did write all 151 Pokemon names on the page, but of course I’m not going to type them all out here now. LOL.]

Today is very, very boring. Yesterday L slept in my bed. [L was a female friend from grammar school, and she came over for a sleepover.] She came on July 1, in the morning and stayed over. L’s house is very pretty. Her room is pink. Saturday she’s coming to my house again!

I like summer school. [This is hilarious to me considering how much I hated school in later years.] We have no homework. We get to do writing, math, reading, and art of course!

I really don’t have a thing to say. Oh! Bye! See you on Friday. [Many entries in my very first diary were written this way during days I couldn’t think of anything to write. Haha. 😂]

Yesterday I helped my dad and mom sweep the floor. My dad took a picture of me because then I could show it to my daughter. If I have a daughter. I’m not eating right now. Right now it’s 5:27 PM. I can still tell time and daddy says I can’t! And I can read too. Cindy and Ivy didn’t come to my house today. But, they said they would come in the afternoon. I guess they’re busy. They still have to go to school and I don’t have to. I guess it’s because I’m smarter than they are. That’s what daddy said. Now it’s 5:30 PM. I’m only 2 inches shorter than Lily. I just have to grow 2 more inches and I can be like Lily’s size. [I was writing about the height difference between her and I.] I always dream about Lily and Tara. I forgot! Scruffy too! [Scruffy was my very first dog.] But I mostly dream about my family. I got 4 mosquito bites. They are so itchy but not now! My big cousins always have to watch tv. That’s all they do! [At the time, I had two older cousins visiting from Taiwan.] But today they had to wait because I watched Babes in Toyland. Well they’re going to be gone in 3 weeks. My hand’s tired from all this writing. Well, I do have to practice my handwriting.

Winter is coming. [Cue the Game of Thrones music title sequence. 😛 ] Two weeks and then it will be my birthday on Friday. There will be no school on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday too! My cousins Lily and Tara are coming to celebrate my birthday! We will have fun! [Goodness, how many times did I use exclamation points in this entry…?]

L has not been in school for 4 days. I’m worried about her. I bet she isn’t in school because she doesn’t want to go to school, or she is sick. But I don’t think she is sick because she never got sick. [I made very little sense here…] She only had a high fever. So she stayed home for 2 weeks. That was in 4th grade before. I will call her later.

Yesterday I caught a cold from drinking orange juice. I was drinking it and when I saw something funny I laughed and choked on my orange juice and that’s how I got a cold. Now I’m sick and I also caught another cold because I was cold and now I have a stuffy nose because nobody turned on the heat. [Um, that’s not how you get a cold! I can’t believe I wrote something like this LOL.] I have to take my medicine every morning, noon, and when I go to sleep.

Today at recess, I saw girls they were fighting. Then a girl slapped a girl with her coat. Then the girl went to tell the teacher. [Which girl was that…?] Then the others ran away. I couldn’t see the other girl then. When my mom came home I had to go next door to give Rose Marie [a neighbor] a Christmas gift. She gave me clothes! My brother too!! What I really wanted was a toy though. Yesterday I got a Christmas card from Austin. [I don’t remember who this was??]

Since Dec. 20 I’ve taken care of two Tamagotchis. One dog and one cat. Dog is a cute one. Cat is like Jenny who died, I put her as a memory in my book. Jenny was eight years old and died because I think I gave her too many desserts.

Yesterday Lily and Tara left because their mother had to go to Taiwan to go to my grandmother’s funeral. She died at 72 years old.

I don’t know where my game boy is. I checked in my drawer where I put my games, I checked in my room, my brother’s room too. I didn’t check downstairs though in the living room. I gave Lily a Best Friends bracelet and Lily gave me a black Best Friends bracelet.

Today at 5:30 PM my brother had his half birthday. Tomorrow is his whole birthday. I got money from my uncle. He gave me 10 dollars. I forgot that I had 15 dollars in my coat. I also got earrings from my mom. They are magnetic earrings. They are very cute. There are goats on them. It looks like the goats are sitting down.

P.S. – When I carried my clothes downstairs to take a shower, I dropped my underwear just when my brother’s friend, Rosario, was about to walk upstairs. I looked at my clothes. Then I didn’t see my underwear. I quickly ran back. I saw my underwear laying on the floor and ran downstairs to the bathroom. Then I mumbled I can’t believe I dropped my underwear!!

It is a whole new year!! I just wrote a letter to Lily and Tara. Even though that they just left and I miss Lily and Tara.

I saw butterfly clips at Macy’s. I wanted them. But I found something I like more. It was at the Disney’s store. That’s where I bought the pooh diary and the music box. I’m still collecting Pokemon cards, but I don’t have a lot of Digimon cards.

Yesterday night, I couldn’t fall asleep. I didn’t fall asleep for 1 hour. The thing I most worry about is falling asleep.

Yesterday my dad left to go to Taiwan. Michael E. put my blue and green eraser in his nose and ears. When he was about to give me the erasers back I thought “I don’t want them anymore!!” My dad needs to go back to Taiwan because he needs to go to his mother’s funeral. She died a few weeks ago. I want my dad to come home but if he does he can’t go to her funeral and he won’t get to go to the night market to buy things like sailor moon things for me. [Wow, what a seriously run-on sentence this was…]

Last night I couldn’t fall asleep. I think I fell asleep then woke up. Then fell asleep then woke up again. Then fell asleep again. Then woke up in the morning at 8:30.

Last night I dreamed that I was at the school yard. The gates had spider webs, bugs everywhere on the floor and poop too. Whenever I saw a bug I screamed, but no one noticed I screamed. Then I stepped into poop. A man gave me a tissue to wipe the poop off! [What a weird dream…]

I found out that I have a loose tooth. I ate an apple, strawberry, and tawais. [I don’t know what I meant by “tawais”.]

Today I got a U on my report card for a stupid report. [U = Failed.]

Everytime I see Billy I feel like we belong together or that he likes me. Everytime on Wednesday at period 4, I go to music class and I sit next to Billy. It’s a good thing I don’t sit next to Michael E. [Wow I was crazy about Billy. 😉 ]

Today at school there was no reading club. Mrs. Gabarbra is on vacation. I won’t see her for two weeks!

Today is a half day. Michael E. was absent today and yesterday. I want him to be absent so he will not bother me. Lots of people in my class were absent today. L is always absent on half days!

Today Michael E. made me cry. He used scissors to cut my covers off my textbooks and he cut 2 strips of my hair. I was so mad that I cried out loud. The teacher was mad at him. So he sent a letter down to Dr. Spaeciki. [This was the principal of the school.]

Today I felt so tired when I woke up. Scruffy came upstairs to my room when I was dressing up.

Today I was on the internet and my dumb brother said, “Are you done yet? Can I go on the internet?” Jerk! I’m going to write “Keep Out” on my door to keep my brother out!

After school I was riding my bike and I almost ran over a cat! It’s a good thing I didn’t run over it.

Today I wore a short dress. I didn’t notice though. Everybody kept looking at me. I did something embarrassing. I farted! It was so loud! [ROFL. I’m sure everyone has had that accidental public fart at one time or another.] Richard and Michael E. heard and told M. But I got over it.

Today it was my graduation! [Fifith grade graduation, that is.] Yay! My mom went to my graduation. I was sort of embarrassed! I’m happy! I’m sad because L is going to another school and I’m going to Cav.

Today I stayed over at Tara and Lily’s house. I didn’t know how to swim, so everybody helped me, but I was so scared that I freaked out! But a few minutes later, Lily gave me 2 noodles to float on.

Today at summer school, everybody kept going to the bathroom. But really they went to the 4th floor to see the ghost. They kept doing that and everybody in my class said they saw a ghost. I think they weren’t making it up. Nicole said she saw a man all in black who stared at her and also came close to her. Jacqueline was with her.

I’m trying really hard to try and forget what happened last night but it’s stuck in my head. I’ll give it a few weeks or so and then I won’t remember at all. [Chillingly, when I read this entry, I actually could not remember what it was that made me so upset at the time… 😣]

There is a new kid in my class. His name is Dennis. He makes me so mad. He always steals my books. And I keep telling the teacher. I wish he would stop. The teacher said he is going to a new classroom.

Today Lily, Tara, and my brother were playing Mario Party and I had a chance time [an event in the game]. It came to my brother and I got his star. He got so mad. He called me names. He is such a big mouth. He has to take it so seriously!

Today my brother is so stupid! He said that he read my diary everyday and that my mom told him to read it and said that Santa wasn’t real because mommy was the one who wrote Santa’s signature and gave me presents for 2 years. I don’t care if he says Santa isn’t real! I think Santa is real and he is! I don’t care what he thinks! So there!

I have two new teachers. One for ceramics is Ms. Harwood. She makes pottery and she’s going to show me how to make it next week. Oh and in my ceramics class Michael E. is there. I try not to get too close to him.

After a while, the first period of gym was over the teacher blew the whistle and everybody sat down. Then I played the football relay. I had to run around a square and then throw it to the next person. Then sit in the middle of a circle. When it was my turn I was nervous. I ran, but I was slow because of the football I was holding. The teacher stopped me because I didn’t run around the cone. So, I went back and ran. When I threw it to the next person, I missed. Everybody on my team was like, “Hurry up!” Stupid. Who cares anyway?

Last week or something, I got my report card. Ms. Harwood gave it to me. I got a U on my gym stuff, I didn’t really care though. Today, Tara sent me 10 emails! Lily, well I didn’t hear from her. Lily and Tara are coming next week! They are coming to celebrate my b-day. Even though my birthday is on Sunday, I’m celebrating my b-day on Saturday because I have to do my homework on Sunday. I have a trip on Monday. I am scared and afraid. I don’t want to BUY my OWN lunch, I want to BRING my OWN lunch.

A few days ago, I got a A+ on m homework in French. About my French book. It’s really sad too because yesterday was the last day of French class… Now, I’m going to Italian.

I didn’t want to play football at school in gym class. I changed to my gym clothes and I found out I wasn’t playing football, instead teachers showed us things like a mat you’re supposed to jump on as far as you can go. So, for the other period, I was jump roping. It was crowded. Everytime I started to jump, someone in the way stopped me. Then, after a while, I was still jump roping and a boy was watching me. And he said, “Nat, can I use it for a second?” I handed him the jump rope and thought to myself, “Why does that kid know my name?” It was strange. I swear that I have never seen or talked to him before.

Today me, my mom, and my brother went out to the backyard and built a snowman, but me and my mom did most of the work because after a while, my brother went in. My mom took pictures with her camera and I took 2 pictures. That was the first time I ever built a snowman! There’s one across the street too!

For the past few days, I’ve been feeling like I have bad luck because on Wednesday, I really stunk at doing the basketball dribble and I was too short to reach the poles to do my chin ups and I was embarrassed. And on Thursday, I didn’t do my Math homework and I did my Language Arts homework, except I was afraid the teacher would not accept that I used information from the internet. So, I got a 0, I think.

I’ve been feeling depressed. I miss my old school. I miss singing my graduation song, I miss taking my school picture, I miss being shy to my teacher, I miss Mrs. Ruzkowski, most of all, I miss L.

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Featured Image by Hope House Press.