anxiety · avoidance tendencies · blogging · fears · feelings · perception · social anxiety · writing

RRW #4: Comparison

A surge of confidence comes like a lonely star shining in my darkness. For a moment I feel capable and strong and that I can do it. Without warning, the guiding light pops, deflated by my perception of other people. I look to them with longing, wondering why they can do it with no problems. Why does it seem like I am the one failing? It’s ugly how I compare myself to them. Struggling and struggling and often giving up before I even start to try. All because of this comparison killing my worth.


RRW – Really Random Writing.

Featured Image by Aaron Burden.

7 thoughts on “RRW #4: Comparison

  1. There is a quote ‘The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday’. It makes sure you push yourself while still making sure you go at your own pace. Although all the worries you listed are super relatable to all of us I’m sure ^^

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The more thoughtful approach would definitely be to only compare myself in present day to the old me, though it’s still my most immediate reaction to feel bad about myself if I suddenly perceive someone doing something better than me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep. Agreed! It definitely takes some practise! If someone is loads better at something, I also tell myself that they’re probably much worse at something else that I’m OK at. I used to idolise people and think they were perfect and good at everything and never nervous… so now I just think that even the most amazing people shrink in some areas and it’s only natural that they’ll be better than me at some things? This does really work for me! Good luck 😆

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The worst thing about anxiety for me is just how warped my mimd gets when I’m in that state of feeling something I can’t seem to control and it’s like my thoughts spiral to an irrational level. Suddenly things I am mildly insecure about when I’m thinking rationally about turn into a sh*tshow in my brain when I’m panicked over my anxiety. That’s how I often progress from “yeah, I might not be good at something but that’s not bad at all” to “omg I am such a f*ckup that can’t ever do anything right.”

        You’re right that everyone has things they are bad at. In the world, many people have similar insecurities but it’s hard to know since some keep to themselves in real life (like I do). This way of coping perpetuates my own continued perception that I suck and everyone else has fabulous lives.

        Like

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