anxiety · job anxiety · life · phone anxiety · social anxiety

Being Heard By Others

I have always been super self-conscious about my own voice. The worst is how self-conscious I feel when I talk to someone in the presence of other people or knowing that other people around me are listening as I talk. Result? My voice usually comes out lower than I had hoped for due to the fact I am already nervous about how I look or how I sound, and the more I attempt to raise my voice, the more futile my efforts are.

I just don’t know what is wrong with me. Could it be that because I’ve lived from up to my pre teen years till recently always speaking lowly that I messed up my vocal range capability? Or maybe I don’t know how to raise my voice in general. I know that I definitely do lower my speaking voice when I feel anxious or awkward as a coping mechanism for both wanting to be heard but also not wanting to be heard. I do it even when that is the exact opposite of what I want to project through my voice.

Today at work I got criticized by my coworker again for not speaking loudly enough. I was made to make a few outbound calls to some insurance companies to get confirmation emails for some policy change requests. If you have no idea what I am talking about here, don’t worry about it. I can barely grasp the workings of my own job too. Anyway, the co-worker wanted me to speak loudly so she and her other co-worker would be able to hear what I’m saying so if I ran into problems during the call, they could assist me. I tried, I did. I admit my panic over making the calls caused me to speak low and fast, which I usually do when I am so nervous that I just want to get it done with ASAP. I knew it was bad when even the representative on the phone stopped me and said I was going too fast and that she could barely hear me. This only happened once though. All the other times I was able to get my point across to whoever I was speaking to on the phone. After that, I had to wait for the confirmation emails to come in before printing them out.

Later both my coworkers were pleased I got everything done, but again, one of them reminded me to speak louder. The other seemed to have a closer inclination about my behavior and noted that I seemed shy. I did not deny or refute her claim. Then the first coworker stated that there was no room for being shy in this business. The other said that I might get used to the job in time. Will I, when I apparently suck at using my voice?

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6 thoughts on “Being Heard By Others

  1. Yes, you will get used to it! Start focusing on “I did it today, it went ok”.
    Seriously, write down the positive things from the day!
    Trust me, it is helpful.
    Write “I made the call today”. And that is a great step. Focus on the positive!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, you need to move your focus! And try not to over analysing everything. I have been where you are. So trust me, I know what I’m talking about.

        If you continue to only focusing on the negatives, no matter how hard it is to stop – you are not getting any where with it other then down.
        Shift your focus.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. If they need to hear you, fine, but couldn’t you just put the person on hold and ask them for help if you run into trouble. How does hearing one side of the phone call help them to help you? Plus not everyone speaks at the same volume. Seems nitpicky to me. I have a quiet voice so I’ve been there before and it’s very annoying. What do they want you to shout? Anyway, just remember that your co-workers don’t know you, and that it probably isn’t personal. Focus on each step you’re taking. Unfortunately, people will always criticize others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel so bothered by this whole setup in the office that I am considering talking to my boss privately about my troubles. I know I’ve only been working here for like a week, but I feel like I should tell my boss so at least I can hash out these issues before it starts affecting my work. Honestly, everytime I get told off by my coworker, it feels like I can’t do anything right and I almost just want to get up and leave for good. Partially I do feel maybe my own anxiety is affecting me, but also, I don’t feel how I am as a person makes me a good fit for the position if it requires me to be loud and assertive all the time.

      Liked by 1 person

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