A Blogging Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of when I started writing on this blog. I’m not sure if I have much to say without being self-deprecating about how little I’ve changed or that I haven’t grown as a socially anxious person. My overwhelmingly negative filter on myself will probably last for the rest of my life. I don’t believe there is a cure for this habit in me, unfortunately, but I can change how I respond to it. The only difference now is I can see when I may be being too hard on myself for things that aren’t truly bad, however, I still second guess if the positive things about myself are really positive.

When I think about WordPress, I’m amazed this virtual platform exists so I have a space to share parts of myself and connect with people around the world. Skimming through my old entries, it is somewhat cringy (and painful) to remember what I was feeling in the moments I was typing everything up. There is a kind of relief in knowing that at least some of the turmoil I was going through then has passed. Someday, this entry too will become a piece of my history after it stops being the “now” of today and instead be the “then” of many days, months, or years gone by.

It’s only been a year of blogging, but I feel like I’ve spent the whole year unconsciously holding my breath out of fear that someone in my personal life might stumble onto my posts. From what I’ve read on a handful of other people’s blogs, this is a very common fear that rarely becomes reality. Let’s hope it stays that way. In real life, I can only count about four people who know I have a blog (because I felt comfortable enough to mention it to them), and only one of them knows my WordPress url. I fear the potential fallout that might occur from certain people knowing the true extent of my feelings on specific topics, like my social anxiety, since there are aspects of me which I am more comfortable sharing and writing about online than actually ever speaking about it in real life.


2 thoughts on “A Blogging Anniversary

  1. Happy anniversary! I don’t know how I missed this post, grrr. Well, I’m here now. I only have one person I know in the non-virtual world who I’ve allowed to read my blog. It was a hard decision and I had to sort past posts (meaning delete some), which I needed to anyway. I don’t hold back in my writing even though she reads, there was just some things I wrote about in early 2016 that I no longer wanted to have a reminder of.

    I always create a unique name for people I reference in my blog, not that using their real name would mean anything but it’s something I do. I try to find names that define who they are. Anyway, the point is, I told my one friend who reads my blog what her blog name is. Don’t you know, she created a profile so she could comment, using that name! It was a good choice I think.

    Once again happy One Year! 💥⭐️🥇⭐️💥. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think allowing non virtual people to read my posts depends on my comfort level with the person and if I’m ok with letting the person know things about me that I mostly don’t discuss in real life. To my knowledge, I don’t think she has actually read any of ny blog entries as of yet.

      Similarly to you, I use fake names. I believe there was once or twice I accidentally used a person’s real name but by the time I realized my mistake, I didn’t go back and change it because the person was someone I had only met once under obscure circumstances. It’s nice that your friend reads your blog and even uses the name you picked for her.

      Thank you for the anniversary saluations. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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