anxiety · interview anxiety · life · social anxiety

Perseverance in the face of failure 

The job interview did not go well. In fact, it didn’t happen because I got cold feet. Instead of dwelling on this perceived failure and what could have been if I had been braver, I’m going to focus my energy on other matters.

I finally reached out to my career counselor again after several weeks and asked him for some time next week so I could practice a mock interview with him. The bottom line is, I got cold feet for my last interview because I don’t think I’m very good at talking during interviews and that made me afraid to go. So what better way to fix the problem for next time I have an interview by practicing my interview skills with someone I trust?

Some days ago I received a postcard from the Board of Elections because I signed up to be an election poll worker and was assigned to be a Chinese interpreter. In order to work, I need to attend a training class and pass an exam. Tomorrow is the training class. I haven’t a clue what to expect, and I’m reasonably nervous not knowing what I’ll be doing during the class. My Mandarin speaking skills are definitely not poor, and I can read and write adequately, though I admit I haven’t been up to par with regularly studying the language as I did in my past years since I got a bit lazy. What makes me most nervous is I will likely have to learn how to say things in Mandarin that I usually don’t study in my own spare time. Such as the electoral party names, the names of the running candidates, etc. It’s embarrassing to think about if I pronounce certain things wrong or if I’m the only newbie in the training class. If I somehow manage to pass their exam, I hope I am not assigned to a poll site with largely Cantonese speakers because I can only speak and understand Mandarin.

No matter what happens, I will probably be fine in the end. I do worry about making an idiot of myself in front of everyone else in the training class, but then again, who cares? The chances are being in this class will be the only time I see those people and I won’t be assigned to work at the same electoral poll site as them in the future. I’ll persevere.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Perseverance in the face of failure 

  1. I am sorry you are feeling the way that you are but I can completely relate to this. I have missed out on so many opportunities purely because my anxiety gets the better of me. You can do it, and things will get better. I’m following your blog so I can read more of your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind words. If this was me of the past, I definitely would be beating myself up about getting cold feet over the interview and being too anxious to go through with it. But now, I think I have accepted that I’m bound to flip flop and when I do get cold feet, it’s best to not dwell on it and just move on to the next thing.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s